My three daughters have each marveled at the framed wedding photo hanging on one of our living room walls. They study my dress. They remark on how “long” Daddy’s hair was back then. And every once in a while the older two fall into conversations about who among their peers might someday get to wear a fancy black suit, march down the aisle next to them, and (eeew) kiss them when the pastor gives the permission.
This picture of wedded bliss was nudged crookedly for me this past March, however, when the older daughter asked me to confirm a fact. “Mom, girls can only marry boys, right?”
“See, I told you,” she retorted back to her sister when I nodded. What she couldn’t see were my thoughts: Yes, in the state of Maryland, at least for now.
In 2012 both the Washington and Maryland legislatures passed laws that “allow same-sex marriage, but those laws have not yet taken effect. . . . Most states (38) have adopted prohibitions of same-sex marriage. Most states do so by adopting ‘defense of marriage’ language that defines marriage in their state constitution and/or state law in a way similar to the language in the federal Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA)—‘the word “marriage” means only a legal union between one man and one woman as husband and wife.’ . . . Six states and the District of Columbia currently allow same-sex marriages.”*
What happens if same-sex marriage becomes legal in our own backyard? How do I explain this to my children? Is it like explaining legalized gambling? Am I worrying about something needlessly?
I think about Fundamental Belief Number 23, which is so prettily and unmistakably worded. I think about friends who are ecstatic about the chance to marry their partner. And I wonder: what do I say? Or better: how do I say it?
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* National Conference of State Legislatures Web site: www.ncsl.org/issues-research/human-services/same-sex-marriage-overview.aspx.
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Kimberly Luste Maran is features editor of the Adventist Review. This article was published May 10, 2012.
