May 11, 2011

The Choice to Lose

He’s on the world’s biggest stage, standing before three judges who can either make or break his musical aspirations. Yet his face betrays almost no hint of anxiety or fear. His slight smile shows quiet confidence; his soft eyes are filled with kindness and compassion.

Then there’s his voice. He sings from an authentic place in his heart, a place few even know exists. Whereas most American Idol contestants come trying to be someone they’re not, he is refreshingly himself. Yes, there is most certainly something different about this curly-haired barista from Illinois.

The difference is that Chris Medina didn’t come to find his calling or purpose; he’s already found it.
Chris fell in love the moment he saw Juliana Ramos. In 2007 Chris became engaged to the love of his life. Nearly two years later, just before their wedding date, Juliana was in a terrible accident, which left her with a debilitating brain injury and in a wheelchair.

After the accident Chris recalled many people telling him that it would be OK if he decided not to marry her. But Chris made another choice: he decided to stay with Juliana and help her through the difficulties of day-to-day life in a wheelchair.

I was about to make vows just two months from the accident—through thick and thin, ’till death do us part, for better or worse,” Chris said. “What kind of guy would I be if I walked out when she needed me the most?”

The Choice to Love
I’ve never been a big fan of reality TV. But after hearing Chris’s story while flipping channels during halftime of a Lakers game, I became an instant fan of the 26-year-old. I don’t know what Chris’s personal belief structure is, but even if he isn’t a Christian, he’s exhibiting the highest form of love.

2011 1513 page27According to Jesus, “no one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13, NRSV).*

It’s ironic that this real-life love story aired just before Valentine’s Day. As with most other holidays, we’ve done our best to materialize and commercialize Valentine’s Day. Although, I guess what we’ve really done is cheapen love itself, as evidenced by substantial divorce rates in the United States. At some point in our history, “ till death do us part” became “until I don’t feel like putting forth effort anymore.”

Instead of being about losing our life for another, love has become a selfish ambition of emotional pleasure. When times are good, love can be effortless. When things are tough and feelings fade, love can be downright hard.

C. S. Lewis wrote about love: “It is a state not of the feelings but of the will; that state of the will which we have naturally about ourselves, and must learn to have about other people” (Mere Christianity, p. 129).

Our hearts are fickle (see Jer. 17:9). That means we can’t rely on them all the time when it comes to love. Love is action, which means love is a choice; a choice once made by the greatest “Lover” of all. In Gethsemane we get a perspective of that choice when Jesus pleaded: “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me” (Matt. 26:39, NRSV).

In The Desire of Ages Ellen White wrote that the guilt Jesus bore from our sins was so great that He was tempted to fear it would shut Him out forever from His Father’s love (p. 753).

Sometimes we downplay Jesus’ humanity. His fear, pain, and temptations were as real as ours. Yet, in the face of being permanently separated from His Father, He made the choice to lose His life for us. To love us.

Chris Medina isn’t the next American Idol; in fact, he doesn’t even make the top 24. But unlike other eliminated hopefuls, he doesn’t break down when his name isn’t called. As he walks down the aisle, with the judges—and Idol dreams—behind him, his kind, compassionate eyes are filled with contentment.

He’s going back home, back to fulfill his calling and purpose. Back to live the choice he’s made.

* Bible texts credited to NRSV are from the New Revised Standard Version of the Bible, copyright © 1989 by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the U.S.A. Used by permission.

                      
Jimmy Phillips ([email protected]) writes from Bakersfield, California, where he is marketing and communication coordinator for San Joaquin Community Hospital. This article was published on May 12, 2011.

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