HY DOES ONE FIND IT SO HARD to show emotion? Why not give a hug, a pat on the back, or an understanding touch without the fear of seeming silly? Often the gentle touch of a hand can give much more than words. A loving hug gives warmth and assurance that we all need. A gentle pat can comfort; an arm around the shoulder may dissolve bitterness; the grip of a friendly hand can give love.
The average American thinks of bodily contact usually in terms of sex or combat, both of which are steeped in cultural and psychological taboos. Our Puritan heritage causes us to look upon any touching as sensual.
But touch gives encouragement, expresses love, shows emotional tenderness. We tend to forget, for instance, how a friendly handshake can heal the wounds of a quarrel. We tend to forget how comforting a hug can be when we are under stress. Our awareness of the power of touch to convey deep feelings is reflected in our speech—in such expressions as having a “touching experience”; being “touched” (meaning “moved”); or “keeping in touch.” Also, we “rub people the wrong way”; or “handle” angry associates with “kid gloves.” Some people are classified as “thick-skinned” or “thin-skinned.” Other people just get “under our skin,” etc.
Wire Monkeys Giving Milk Won’t Do.
Helen Keller, blind and deaf from birth, once wrote in her diary: “[My dog] was rolling in the grass. I wanted to catch a picture of him in my fingers, and I touched him as lightly as I would cobwebs; but lo, his fat body revolved, stiffened, and solidified into an upright position. . . . He pressed close to me, as if he were fain to crowd himself into my hand. He loved it with his tail, with his paw, with his tongue. If he could speak, I believe he would say with me that paradise is attained by touch; for in touch is all love and intelligence.”1
Studies of babies and infants have repeatedly shown that nothing attains more importance to early physical and mental maturing than a touch. Various experiments show that those children who have the most physical contact with parents, nurses, or attendants learn to walk and talk the earliest and have the higher IQs.
Research in animals yields similar results. In a famous experiment performed a decade ago, psychologist Henry F. Harlow built two artificial mothers for monkey babies. One mother was a figure built of wire and gave milk. The other mother was formed of sponge rubber and soft cloth but gave no milk. If the baby monkeys were given a choice, they always went to the soft-cloth mother for the comfort of her touch.
These experiments contradicted the accepted theory that a baby loves its mother primarily because she provides food.
Other researchers chained a dog to a public building and provided it with all the necessities of life—food, water, shelter. The startling result of this experiment showed that if some human passerby would just pet or speak kindly to the dog, it would live healthy and actually thrive. If the dog was completely ignored, as it was in another experiment—if no one touched, petted, or spoke kindly to it—the dog became listless, refused food, and actually died.
Touching Taboos
Much more takes place through a loving touch than most of us realize. It dissolves barriers between people. It magically breaks down the emotional walls we build around ourselves. “Touch,” says Dr. Otto, a researcher in the field of human growth potentials, “is always an exchange if not a sharing. Through touch we grow, and we enable others to grow.”
We are too often presented with the negative aspects of touching. Too often we are warned, “Don’t touch.” Often we hear a mother say to her child, “No! No! Don’t touch. It’s not nice to touch.”
Years ago, in an Asian country, a child belonging to a certain high caste family fell into a deep well. All the men of the family were away and the women were helpless. But when a man of the sweeper caste offered to climb down the well and save the boy, the women spurned his offer with horror, for his touch (they thought) would defile the drinking water of the household and also the boy himself.
So the child was left in the well to die. Later, he was fished out dead by the clean hands of a male member of the caste. That mother had chosen death for her child rather than defilement from the touch of another man who was untouchable.
Touch of the Master
One day a sick woman sought out Jesus for healing. She had been to all the physicians of her day and had not been cured, for 12 years suffering untold misery. Here stood a lonely, miserable creature in great need, her condition desperate. Slowly she inched her way through the crowd and, asserting herself to the very limit, just managed to touch the hem of Jesus’ garment. Instantly she became well!
What a difference between the casual touch of the crowd and the touch of faith! In the moving crowd that pressed upon Jesus that day, He recognized one touch as being different from all the others. “Who touched me?” He called out. What a strange question, thought Peter. “Master, the multitudes throng and press You, and You say, ‘Who touched me?’” (Luke 8:45, NKJV).* Jesus could feel that which ordinary humans could not. There had been a touch that was different, and Jesus recognized it.
This fact has ever been true. In the milling mass of humankind, whenever a hand reaches out with a finger of faith to touch Him, Jesus immediately discerns it. This privilege will always belong to the Christian. Regardless of our situation, if we reach out a hand of faith, Christ is never beyond us. He’s always accessible to our touch.
Finding she could not hide from Jesus, the woman came forward trembling and fell down at His feet. With grateful tears she told Him in front of all why she’d touched His garment. She feared that her act of touching might trouble Him, but no word of unkindness came from Christ’s lips. Instead He spoke only words of approval. “Daughter,” He said gently, “be of good comfort: thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace” (verse 48, KJV).
The healing that came to this woman was both physical and spiritual, and she was made whole from that moment. Her greatest healing, the peace of heart and mind, came from contact with Christ.
The touch of faith brings peace of mind and heart today, just as it did some 2,000 years ago in the streets of Capernaum.
Ellen G. White wrote: “Did Jesus rebuke her? Did he turn coldly from her?—No, he comforted her. . . . O, I would rather have one word of comfort from Jesus than all the wealth and all the mansions. . . . I would rather have one smile of approval from Jesus than all the gold of the world.”2
The woman later disappeared among the crowd, but not from the pages of history. This story remains so that you and I may know we can still reach out and touch the Savior in every hour of need.
The Touch of a Mother’s Hand
Dwight Moody used to tell a story that occurred in connection with the U.S. Civil War. A mother received a telegram that her boy was critically wounded. She immediately left for the battle front, for she knew that the soldiers who cared for the sick and wounded could not possibly watch her boy as she could. She went to the doctor in charge and asked, “Would you let me take care of my boy?”
The doctor answered, “He has just gone to sleep and if you go to him now, the surprise may be so great it could be dangerous to him. He is very critical. Let me break the news to him gradually.”
“But,” said the mother, “he may never wake up. I would so much like to see him.”
Finally the doctor replied, “You can see him, but if you wake him up and he dies, it will be your fault.”
“I will not wake him up,” she said, “for I will only go to his cot to see him.”
She moved to the side of the cot where her son lay dying. Her eyes had longed to see him. As she looked at him she could not keep her hand off that pale forehead, and she laid it on gently. There was love and sympathy in her hand, and the moment the slumbering boy felt it he said, “Oh, Mother, have you come?”
He’d felt the love in the touch of that hand.
Let Jesus reach out His hand and touch your heart today. You too will find healing and love in His touch. We need His cleansing words. We need His healing touch.
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*Texts credited to NKJV are from the New King James Version. Copyright ” 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
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2The Advent Review and Sabbath Herald, March 1, 1892.
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