July 23, 2008

The Practice

2008 1521 page27 cap wish I could play the piano, or any musical instrument, for that matter. Besides the radio, which I’ve decided counts.
 
One year my elementary school adopted a limited music instruction program, offering specific instruments for different grades. The choices for my grade were cello and violin. Since I took the subway to school, violin seemed the more manageable of the choices. So, I began to learn to love the violin. When the school discontinued lessons, I was devastated, and for years I teared up whenever listening to a violin. I have to admit, however, that despite how much I loved the look, sound, smell, and feel of that instrument, I do not recall loving the practicing of it.
 
Years later I decided to sign up for piano lessons in college. That very semester, when I tried out for a select vocal group, the voice teacher holding the auditions encouraged me to begin voice lessons with her instead, which I did. (As I write that, it sounds like an insult, but since I was selected for the vocal group, she was indicating I had potential . . . I think . . . h’mmm . . .) So I still didn’t learn to play the piano. And I can’t say the voice lessons were such a resounding success either.
 
2008 1521 page27After college, I decided the time was once again right. I arranged piano lessons with a gifted, elderly pianist in my congregation. The first two times I showed up for our lesson, she sat me down for tea and conversation, having completely forgotten why I was there. Those first two sessions turned into the two last sessions, and that was the very last time I ever pursued formal musical training.
 
Once since then, though, and I blush to admit it, I thought, I wonder if I’m one of those rare people who can play by ear, with no formal instruction? So I sat down at the piano to try. Idiot I may be. Savant, not so much.
 
Notice, you have yet to hear me say, “I want to learn how to play an instrument.” You see, I don’t think I really want to go through the learning process so much as I just want to be able to reach the end result. And much as I may want to be able to make music, I never will succeed at doing so unless I put in the time, expense, and commitment integral to the process of learning. If and when I want it badly enough, I guess I’ll be willing to work for it.
 
I can’t help thinking that this dim aha moment isn’t limited to music. We’ve all experienced it when:
 
We want to harvest our own produce, but don’t want to plant and weed.
 
We want to be more healthy, but don’t enjoy the discipline required.
 
We want a well-behaved pet, but aren’t crazy about the training.
 
We want to have money in the bank, but we don’t want to have to put it there.
 
We want to arrive at a destination, but we don’t enjoy the journey.
 
We want to be persons of faith, but despise the voids and droughts that develop it.
 
We long to have a vital relationship with the Lord, but we don’t want to go through what it takes to develop one.
 
It’s all too easy to forget that in order to be, we must first be willing to enter into the process of becoming. But any destination worth arriving at is worth the journey.
 
___________
Valerie N. Phillips is the associate director of the women’s residence hall at Andrews University in Berrien Springs, Michigan, where she has ministered to collegiate women for more than 25 years.

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